True Manhood in Islam

Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, says in Surah an-Noor, verse 37:

Men whom neither commerce nor sale distracts from the remembrance of Allah and performance of prayer and giving of zakah. They fear a Day in which the hearts and eyes will [fearfully] turn about.

And Allah says in Surah al-Ahzab, verse 23:

Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration

It is narrated that Umar ibn Al-Khattab was sitting with some of the companions in a house in Medinah. He said to them, "Make a wish." One of them said, "I wish that this house was filled with gold so that I would spend it in the path of Allah." Another one said, "I wish this house was filled with diamonds so that I would spend it in the path of Allah." Umar repeated, "Make a wish." They said, "O leader of the faithful, what do you wish?" Umar said, "I wish that this house was filled with men like Abu Ubaidah ibn Al-Jarrah, Muadh ibn Jabal, Salem, the freed slave of Hudhaifah, and Hudhaifah bin Al-Yaman.

Dear brothers and sisters, our topic today is the concept of manhood in Islam. It includes the meaning of manhood, the characteristics of manhood, the misconceptions regarding manhood, and how to inculcate manhood in our kids.

Manhood implies those characteristics that are deemed praiseworthy by peopel of intellect and whose absence is worthy of blame, and those include good morals, determination, etc. Every man is not characterized as a true man. Sometimes, a woman may be better than ten men on account of her excellent morals and attributes!

Allah praised His prophets (peace be upon them) in the Qur'an, describing them as honorable persons who faced difficulties while following the religion of Allah, Islam. Allah says in Surah Yusuf, verse 109:

Allah sent not before you [as messengers] except men to whom We revealed from among the people of cities.

Manhood includes characteristics in a person that go beyond the characteristics of the body. A real person in Islam is the one imbued with beautiful morals and a pure heart. Sahal ibn Sa'ad narrated that a person passed by Muhammad (pbuh) and he (pbuh) asked his companions, "What do you say about this person?" They said, "He is a person that if he sends a proposal it will be accepted, and if he intercedes on behalf of someone, his intercession will be accepted, and if he says something, people will listen to him." Muhammad (pbuh) kept quiet. Then another person passed by from among the poor Muslims. He (pbuh) asked, "What do you say about this person?" The companions said, "He is a person that if he sends a proposal it will be rejected, and if he intercedes on behalf of someone his intercession will not be accepted, and if he says something the people will not listen to him." Muhammad (pbuh) said, "The likes of this (poor) person are better than the treasures of the earth." Here, Muhammad (pbuh) illustrates that manhood is not because of a strong body, noble descent, or wealth. Rather, manhood is on account of faith and good morals.

In Islam, manhood has several characteristics. We should know them in order that we strive for them, and those include the following:

1.     Determination and self-discipline.

Among the qualities of a true believer is that he overcomes his ego, which is always inclined to sin. So when your ego invites you to sin, be a man and overcome the desire of your ego. A true man overcomes his ego - his ego does not command him! This is particularly true for those of our youth, for whom the doors of sin are spread open, but they proclaim, "We fear Allah". They are the true men. When the wife of a great ruler of Egypt invited Joseph (pbuh) to commit adultery with her, he (pbuh) said, "I seek Allah's protection!"

2.     Persistence in remembering Allah.

Manhood implies that you do not acquire worldly pleasures and be forgetful of the Hereafter. Surah an-Noor, verses 36-37, reads:

[Such niches are] in mosques which Allah has ordered to be raised and that His name be mentioned therein; exalting Him within them in the morning and the evenings - [Are] men whom neither commerce nor sale distracts from the remembrance of Allah and performance of prayer and giving of zakah. They fear a Day in which the hearts and eyes will [fearfully] turn about.

Once, Muhammad (pbuh) was addressing the people from the podium, when a caravan approached. All the companions, except twelve of them, left him. He (pbuh) said, "By Allah, if you had also followed them, and none of you had remained behind, the valley with you would have filled with fire". Allah Almighty then revealed Surah al-Jumuah, verse 11, "But when they saw a transaction or a diversion, [O Muhammad], they rushed to it and left you standing. Say, "What is with Allah is better than diversion and than a transaction, and Allah is the best of providers."

3.     Among qualities of true men is that they prefer obedience to Allah and Muhammad (pbuh) to the love of their wealth and children. Allah says in Surah al-Kahf, verse 46, "Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope."

Muhammad (pbuh) also said, "Accumulate lasting righteous deeds." His companions said, "What are they, O Messenger of Allah?" He (pbuh) said, "Glorifying Allah, being grateful to Allah, there is no god except Allah, praising Allah, and there is no power except Allah. Those are the lasting righteous deeds." Imam al-Ulusi said, "Wealth and children accelerate downfall; and remembrance of Allah is not like that. Wealth may bring trouble to a person, and a rebellious child neither brings benefit in this world nor in the Hereafter." Thus, the obedience to Allah and Muhammad (pbuh) are the true qualities of manhood.

4.     Loyalty and trustworthiness are also among the qualities of true manhood. When Muhammad (pbuh) emigrated from Mecca to Medina, he (pbuh) left Ali ibn Abi Talib behind in Mecca, to return all trusts to their owners. Later, when Mecca was returned to the Muslims, he (pbuh) gave the key to the Ka'aba to Uthman ibn Talha, and said, "This is your key, O Uthman. Today is the day of keeping the trust."

But when the Muslim ummah lost the morals that Muhammad (pbuh) delivered to them, the ummah lost its strength. A Christian scholar said, "Arabs lost their position when they forgot their morals that were delivered to them, and they became divided, lacking determination, inclined to pleasures and desires."

5.    Being answerable to Allah for the family. Allah says in Surah an-Nisa, verse 34, "Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth." Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Each one of you is a care-taker, and each one of you is answerable for those in his care. A man is care-taker over his family, and is answerable for those in his care.

6.     Humility, forgiveness to full extent, and perfect morals are also required. And this is often forgotten when men remember that they are supposed to be in charge of their families, so take caution. Some men incorrectly think that manhood means winning arguments, sticking to your opinion even if it is wrong, or displaying sternness over their wives and kids so that they treat the ones they are supposed to guide with harshness or cruelty. This is a mistake. The best of all creation, Muhammad (pbuh), was kind and affectionate and forgiving towards his family and towards all mankind. If this did not weaken his position as the leader of the family or of the Muslims, why are we afraid to follow in his (pbuh) example?

So how do we raise our sons to grow into men who exemplify all these manners of manhood as defined above?

1. We should bring them to the gatherings of their elders, so that they may learn wisdom and maturity from them.
2. We should teach our children to be respectful to all humans, especially to their elders. The best way to do this is by example. If we treat our wives disrespectfully in front of our sons, they will learn this habit. Similarly, if we backbite other Muslims in the presence of our youth, they will follow us in this example.
3. We should also show respect to our children and to give them their right in gatherings, and not deny them.
4. We should show our children importance. We should say salaam to them, we should listen to them, and we should give importance to their opinion.
5. We should not dress little boys in silk and gold, because silk and gold are for women and not for men, even if they are still boys.
6. We should tell our children stories of our religion and of the companions of Muhammad (pbuh) in order to teach them perfect etiquette and morals.

Our desire is to inculcate the characteristics of manhood among us so that we are true in regards to our covenant with Allah. And Allah knows best.

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Relationship Between the Oneness of Allah and Standing Firm in the Religion

Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, says in the Holy Qur'an, Surah Fussilat, verses 30-32:

Surely, those who say, "Our Lord is only Allah", and thereafter stand firm on it, the angels will descend [at death] on them [saying], "Do not fear or grieve, and receive the glad tidings of paradise, which you have been promised! We [the angels] are your friends in this life of this world and the hereafter. You will find in it what your souls desire and you will find in it what you ask for: a hospitable gift from [Allah], the Forgiving, the Merciful."

Previously I described the meaning of "Standing Firm in the Religion of Allah". The actions I described show that a Muslim is firm in his religion, and I described what can help a Muslim be firm in the religion. Here is a summary from this topic:

Standing firm in religion means following the dictates of the Qur'an and the Sunnah in all walks of life: in words, in deeds, and in adherence to the correct beliefs. The actions that demonstrate a person's firmness in religion include:

1. Completing acts of worship completely, sincerely, and properly for Allah and Allah alone
2. Listening and obeying the commands of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)
3. Performing extra, non obligatory acts of worship, such as prayer, fasting, and charity
4. Serving the cause of Islam with time, money, and effort
5. Living in the company of the Qur'an through recitation, listening, reflecting over its verses, and following its commandments 

The factors that facilitate standing firm in the religion are many. The most important of them are:

1. The fear and awareness of Allah
2. Knowledge that we were created to worship Allah alone and to stand firm in the faith of Allah

This sermon will continue this previous topic, and God willing will describe:

1. The relationship between standing firm and Tawheed, the Arabic word for the Oneness of Allah
2. The benefits of staying firm in the religion of Allah
3. The answer to the question, "We can never be completely firm in our religion, so what should we do?"

There is a firm relationship between the Tawheed of Allah and standing firm in His religion. The two cannot be separated. Tawheed is false without firmness of the religion, and the firmness in religion cannot be achieved without Tawheed. That is why all the messengers of Allah (peace be upon them all) invited mankind to the Tawheed of Allah and standing firm in the religion of Allah.

Allah says to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as follows in the Holy Qur'an, Surah Fussilat, verse 6:

Say: "I am only a human being like you. It is revealed to me that your Lord is one Allah, therefore stand firm in His path, and ask for Allah's forgiveness."

The first commandment here is "your Lord is one Allah", and this defines the Tawheed of Allah. The second commandment is, "stand firm in Allah's path," and this describes the firmness in the religion of Allah.

When Pharaoh challenged Moses (peace be upon him) and declared, "I am your Lord, most high", Moses (pbuh) responded, "Allah is my Lord, your Lord, and Lord of the worlds." So, Pharaoh, in his arrogance, decided, according to Surah Ghaafir, verse 26:

Let me kill Moses, and let me call his Lord (to stop me)! Surely, I fear that he may change your religion, or that he may cause mischief in the land.

Thus, Pharaoh wanted to kill Moses (pbuh) because Moses (pbuh) presented him the Tawheed, the Oneness of Allah, and he was firm in His religion.

Additionally, because of Abraham's (pbuh) declaration of Tawheed and his firmness in the religion of Allah, his people wanted to burn him in the fire. Allah tells us about this event in Surah al anbya, verses 68-69, of His Qur'an:

"Burn him and help your gods, if you intend to do something about it." But Allah ruined their plan as Allah commanded to the fire: "O fire! Be cool and safe for Abraham!"

Because of their profession of Tawheed and their firmness in the religion of Allah, Prophet Muhammad's companions were tortured and forced to leave Mecca. Their only crime was declaring "Our Lord is only Allah".

Accordingly, when a Muslim is faced with a trial in regards to his or her wealth, family, or honor, he or she should say, "My Lord is only Allah", stand firm in these words, and persist on virtuous deeds, as Muhammad (pbuh) has advised: "Say, 'I believe in Allah' and then stand firmly upon it, or say, 'My Lord is Allah,' and then stand firmly upon it. Similarly Allah advised Muhammad (pbuh), and through him to the community of Muslims in Surah Hud, verse 112:

So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned back with you [to Allah ], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do.

Al Qashiri narrated that a pious person saw Muhammad (pbuh) in his dream and he said, "O messenger of Allah! We have learned that you said, 'Surah Hud and its sisters caused me to grow older.' So, what was it in Surah Hud that caused you to grow older?" Muhammad (pbuh) replied, "The words of Allah that said, 'So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, and those who have turned back with you, and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do. Do not incline towards those who do wrong, lest the fire should touch you, and you will not have any protector other than Allah, nor will you be helped.'"

It is so because the above surah mentions paradise and hellfire, and the affairs of the Day of Judgment. So when the questioner asked Muhammad (pbuh) in his dream, he (pbuh) responded that Surah Hud caused Muhammad (pbuh) to grow older, since in it Allah commanded Muhammad (pbuh) to stand absolutely firm in the religion.

As standing firm in the religion of Allah is intimately related to the Tawheed of Allah, it carries several virtues for the Muslim who is steadfast and firm in the religion. Among these virtues are the following:

1.  The angels descend on a such a person with tranquility and serenity in this world, at the time of entering the grave, and during reckoning in the grave. This is the meaning of saying of Allah:

Surely, those who say, "Our Lord is only Allah", and thereafter stand firm on it, the angels will descend (at death) on them (saying), "Do not fear or grieve, and receive the glad tidings of paradise, which you have been promised!

Waki said, "The glad tiding is for three occasions: at the time of death, in the grave, and at the time of resurrection. The angels assist them with serenity and tranquility and give them the glad tidings of paradise.

2.   Standing firm in the religion opens the heart to virtue and leads to a pious life. Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, says in Surah an Nisa, verse 124:

And whoever does righteous deeds, whether male or female, while being a believer - those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged, [even as much as] the speck on a date seed.

A person who is firm in the religion is rewarded with a pious life and a great reward in the hereafter from Allah.

3.   People love to honor the person who stands firm in the religion of Allah. It is so because the hearts of the people are between the two fingers of Allah, and He turns them the way He desires. So when a Muslim stands firm in the religion of Allah, Allah causes the people to love and honor him or her.

4.  Standing firm in religion stops the Muslim from committing sins. A steadfast person realizes that Allah is ever watchful over him or her, so he or she fears Allah, alone and in company, and protects the body from sinful acts, because of his or her firmness in the religion of Allah.

5.  Standing firm in the religion causes the abundance of sustenance in this world. Allah says in Surah al Jinn, verse 16:

And [ Allah revealed] that if they had remained straight on the way, We would have given them water in abundance.

The meaning of 'water in abundance' is the provisions of life. It is not only the abundance, but also the blessings with it. Even though the wealth might be small, with blessings from Allah it will become bountiful. So it is immaterial whether the sustenance is small or big, Allah will bless it and cause it to grow, and that is only for those of His servants who are firm in His religion.

Ibn Taimiyya said, "The highest miracle is to stand firm in the religion. Walking on water or floating in the air has no sanction of approval from Allah, unless the person is steadfast in the commandments of Allah with respect to the permissible and not permissible. When he is steadfast in religion, that that is his miracle."

The following are some actions that prevent a person from being firm in the religion of Allah. I describe them so you are mindful and stay way from them:

1. When a person falls easily into sins, and continues to do so, it develops a sickness in the heart, and removes him or her away from Allah's mercy. The sins prevent the Muslim from being firm in the religion.
2. Preferring this world over the hereafter is also a problem. Muhammad (pbuh) said, "I do not fear poverty for you; rather, I fear that the world will expand for you, as it expanded for the people before you. So you will breathe it in, as they breathed it in, and it will destroy you as it destroyed them.
3. Having bad company will prevent the Muslim from standing firm in the religion. Evil company, whether at work, in the family, or among the friends, will prevent a person from standing firm in the religion. Allah says, "Do not incline towards those who do wrong, lest the fire should touch you, and you will not have any protector other than Allah, nor will you be helped."

The final question is whether standing firm in the religion means an absence of mistakes. And whether a Muslim who commits a sin loses firmness in the religion?

The answer is that the meaning of standing firm in the religion of Allah, with respect to us humans, does not imply complete absence of sins. Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Every son of Adam commits mistakes, and the best of those who commit mistakes are the ones who repent." We therefore are incapable of being free from mistakes and sins, as complete absence from sins is only for the prophets of Allah (peace be upon them all). As Allah has commanded His servants to stand firm on religion, He has also commanded them to ask for His forgiveness. This shows that when the firmness in religion is compromised due to making a mistake or committing a sin, asking for forgiveness will repair it.

Furthermore, Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Fear Allah as much as in your capacity, and follow a bad deed with a good deed. That will erase it." Muhammed (pbuh) informed us by this saying that we are going to fall short in standing firm in the religion, and he (pbuh) therefore advised us to stay as close to firmness as possible. Although we may not achieve complete firmness, we will achieve as much as is in our capacity, Allah willing.

Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Stand firm on religion, but you will not be able to achieve it. And know that the best of your deeds is the mandatory prayers, and only a believer guards his ablution." This means that Muslims are asked to be firm in the religion as much as in their capacity. Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, is capable of compensating for our shortcomings, and Allah spoke the truth when He said:

So you, (O Prophet,) stand firm and straight in the religion as you are commanded and those who turn in repentance, and do not transgress. Surely, Allah is all-Seer of what you do. Do not incline toward those who do wrong, lest the fire should touch you, and then you will not have any protector other than Allah, nor will you be helped."

And Allah knows best.

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