True Manhood in Islam

Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, says in Surah an-Noor, verse 37:

Men whom neither commerce nor sale distracts from the remembrance of Allah and performance of prayer and giving of zakah. They fear a Day in which the hearts and eyes will [fearfully] turn about.

And Allah says in Surah al-Ahzab, verse 23:

Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration

It is narrated that Umar ibn Al-Khattab was sitting with some of the companions in a house in Medinah. He said to them, "Make a wish." One of them said, "I wish that this house was filled with gold so that I would spend it in the path of Allah." Another one said, "I wish this house was filled with diamonds so that I would spend it in the path of Allah." Umar repeated, "Make a wish." They said, "O leader of the faithful, what do you wish?" Umar said, "I wish that this house was filled with men like Abu Ubaidah ibn Al-Jarrah, Muadh ibn Jabal, Salem, the freed slave of Hudhaifah, and Hudhaifah bin Al-Yaman.

Dear brothers and sisters, our topic today is the concept of manhood in Islam. It includes the meaning of manhood, the characteristics of manhood, the misconceptions regarding manhood, and how to inculcate manhood in our kids.

Manhood implies those characteristics that are deemed praiseworthy by peopel of intellect and whose absence is worthy of blame, and those include good morals, determination, etc. Every man is not characterized as a true man. Sometimes, a woman may be better than ten men on account of her excellent morals and attributes!

Allah praised His prophets (peace be upon them) in the Qur'an, describing them as honorable persons who faced difficulties while following the religion of Allah, Islam. Allah says in Surah Yusuf, verse 109:

Allah sent not before you [as messengers] except men to whom We revealed from among the people of cities.

Manhood includes characteristics in a person that go beyond the characteristics of the body. A real person in Islam is the one imbued with beautiful morals and a pure heart. Sahal ibn Sa'ad narrated that a person passed by Muhammad (pbuh) and he (pbuh) asked his companions, "What do you say about this person?" They said, "He is a person that if he sends a proposal it will be accepted, and if he intercedes on behalf of someone, his intercession will be accepted, and if he says something, people will listen to him." Muhammad (pbuh) kept quiet. Then another person passed by from among the poor Muslims. He (pbuh) asked, "What do you say about this person?" The companions said, "He is a person that if he sends a proposal it will be rejected, and if he intercedes on behalf of someone his intercession will not be accepted, and if he says something the people will not listen to him." Muhammad (pbuh) said, "The likes of this (poor) person are better than the treasures of the earth." Here, Muhammad (pbuh) illustrates that manhood is not because of a strong body, noble descent, or wealth. Rather, manhood is on account of faith and good morals.

In Islam, manhood has several characteristics. We should know them in order that we strive for them, and those include the following:

1.     Determination and self-discipline.

Among the qualities of a true believer is that he overcomes his ego, which is always inclined to sin. So when your ego invites you to sin, be a man and overcome the desire of your ego. A true man overcomes his ego - his ego does not command him! This is particularly true for those of our youth, for whom the doors of sin are spread open, but they proclaim, "We fear Allah". They are the true men. When the wife of a great ruler of Egypt invited Joseph (pbuh) to commit adultery with her, he (pbuh) said, "I seek Allah's protection!"

2.     Persistence in remembering Allah.

Manhood implies that you do not acquire worldly pleasures and be forgetful of the Hereafter. Surah an-Noor, verses 36-37, reads:

[Such niches are] in mosques which Allah has ordered to be raised and that His name be mentioned therein; exalting Him within them in the morning and the evenings - [Are] men whom neither commerce nor sale distracts from the remembrance of Allah and performance of prayer and giving of zakah. They fear a Day in which the hearts and eyes will [fearfully] turn about.

Once, Muhammad (pbuh) was addressing the people from the podium, when a caravan approached. All the companions, except twelve of them, left him. He (pbuh) said, "By Allah, if you had also followed them, and none of you had remained behind, the valley with you would have filled with fire". Allah Almighty then revealed Surah al-Jumuah, verse 11, "But when they saw a transaction or a diversion, [O Muhammad], they rushed to it and left you standing. Say, "What is with Allah is better than diversion and than a transaction, and Allah is the best of providers."

3.     Among qualities of true men is that they prefer obedience to Allah and Muhammad (pbuh) to the love of their wealth and children. Allah says in Surah al-Kahf, verse 46, "Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope."

Muhammad (pbuh) also said, "Accumulate lasting righteous deeds." His companions said, "What are they, O Messenger of Allah?" He (pbuh) said, "Glorifying Allah, being grateful to Allah, there is no god except Allah, praising Allah, and there is no power except Allah. Those are the lasting righteous deeds." Imam al-Ulusi said, "Wealth and children accelerate downfall; and remembrance of Allah is not like that. Wealth may bring trouble to a person, and a rebellious child neither brings benefit in this world nor in the Hereafter." Thus, the obedience to Allah and Muhammad (pbuh) are the true qualities of manhood.

4.     Loyalty and trustworthiness are also among the qualities of true manhood. When Muhammad (pbuh) emigrated from Mecca to Medina, he (pbuh) left Ali ibn Abi Talib behind in Mecca, to return all trusts to their owners. Later, when Mecca was returned to the Muslims, he (pbuh) gave the key to the Ka'aba to Uthman ibn Talha, and said, "This is your key, O Uthman. Today is the day of keeping the trust."

But when the Muslim ummah lost the morals that Muhammad (pbuh) delivered to them, the ummah lost its strength. A Christian scholar said, "Arabs lost their position when they forgot their morals that were delivered to them, and they became divided, lacking determination, inclined to pleasures and desires."

5.    Being answerable to Allah for the family. Allah says in Surah an-Nisa, verse 34, "Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth." Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Each one of you is a care-taker, and each one of you is answerable for those in his care. A man is care-taker over his family, and is answerable for those in his care.

6.     Humility, forgiveness to full extent, and perfect morals are also required. And this is often forgotten when men remember that they are supposed to be in charge of their families, so take caution. Some men incorrectly think that manhood means winning arguments, sticking to your opinion even if it is wrong, or displaying sternness over their wives and kids so that they treat the ones they are supposed to guide with harshness or cruelty. This is a mistake. The best of all creation, Muhammad (pbuh), was kind and affectionate and forgiving towards his family and towards all mankind. If this did not weaken his position as the leader of the family or of the Muslims, why are we afraid to follow in his (pbuh) example?

So how do we raise our sons to grow into men who exemplify all these manners of manhood as defined above?

1. We should bring them to the gatherings of their elders, so that they may learn wisdom and maturity from them.
2. We should teach our children to be respectful to all humans, especially to their elders. The best way to do this is by example. If we treat our wives disrespectfully in front of our sons, they will learn this habit. Similarly, if we backbite other Muslims in the presence of our youth, they will follow us in this example.
3. We should also show respect to our children and to give them their right in gatherings, and not deny them.
4. We should show our children importance. We should say salaam to them, we should listen to them, and we should give importance to their opinion.
5. We should not dress little boys in silk and gold, because silk and gold are for women and not for men, even if they are still boys.
6. We should tell our children stories of our religion and of the companions of Muhammad (pbuh) in order to teach them perfect etiquette and morals.

Our desire is to inculcate the characteristics of manhood among us so that we are true in regards to our covenant with Allah. And Allah knows best.

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True Happiness in Islam

adapted from the March 10, 2011 sermon

Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due, says in Surah an Nahl, verse 97:

Whoever works right, (be they) man or woman, and has Faith (in Allah), surely, to them we will give a good life, and we will bless upon them their reward by the best of their deeds.

Salmah ibn Ubaid Ullah narrated that Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "He who sleeps in the safety of his house, enjoys good health, and has provisions for the day, it is as if he has collected all the blessings of the world."

Our topic today, Allah willing, is the concept of true happiness in Islam. Undoubtedly, each one of us seeks happiness. So what is true happiness? And how do we find it? Is it found in wealth? Or in good health, being free from any sickness and hunger? Or is happiness found in safety from injury and being hurt by people? Or is it found in a lofty position, with employees in abundance? Or is it found in something else?

Today we will, Allah willing, answer the following questions:

1. What is the meaning of true happiness?
2.  What factors promote true happiness?
3. What factors prevent us from attaining true happiness?

Happiness means many different things to different people. Some people seek happiness in material possessions. Others relate it with what they are missing. For example, a sick person sees true happiness in a cure, and a poor person sees it in wealth.

Benjamin Franklin, however, is credited with saying that "happiness is attainment of good morals". And George Bernard Shaw said, "A person who is suffering from a toothache believes that people with healthy molars are basking in happiness, and a poor person has the same faulty thinking about the rich."

And the Muslim scholars have said that the meaning of bliss or true happiness is to be thankful for the blessings of Allah (to Whom all praise and glory is due), to be patient during times of trial, and to ask forgiveness of Allah after committing a sin.

Ibn Qayyim said that "true happiness of the servant of Allah stems from three things: When he is bestowed with blessings, he is thankful; when he is tested with a trial, he is patient; and when he commits a sin, he seeks forgiveness from Allah." And Ali ibn Abi Talib said that "a believer with understanding is the happiest of persons."

In Islam, true happiness is to enter paradise, to be saved from hellfire, and to enjoy being in the presence of Allah. Allah says, "some faces, that Day (the day of judgment) will glow; looking towards their Lord".

If we look into history and read the stories of our predecessors, we find them seeking happiness in two different ways. One group of people sought false happiness and that led to their destruction and condemnation by Allah. The other group sought happiness in the right way that led to their safety from ruin. They incurred the pleasure of Allah, and true happiness in both this world and the hereafter. There are several examples available to us for both groups. Here are a few:

The Pharaoh of Egypt sought happiness in power and authority and in doing so denied belief in Allah. He boasted to his people, as recorded by Allah in Surah az Zukhruf, verse 51:

O my people! Does not the Kingdom of Egypt belong to me, and these streams flow beneath my palace? Don't you then see?

But he forgot about the Creator who had granted him rule over Egypt; he arrogantly claimed divinity and said, according to Allah in Surah an Nazi'at, verse 24:

I am your lord, most high.

Thus, he assumed that happiness was in attaining the highest authority over land, but what was the result? Allah says, "But Allah punished him, and made him an example in the hereafter and in this life." This was his punishment in this world, and in the hereafter, he will enter hellfire. Allah said in Surah al Ghafir, verse 46:

The fire, they are brought in front of it, morning and evening: and on the Day that Judgment will be established (it will be ordered): throw the people of Pharaoh in the severest penalty.

So, dear brothers and sisters, we therefore know that happiness is not in authority, if that authority is bereft of faith.

Another people sought happiness in wealth; their epitome was Qaroon. Allah says in Surah al Qasas, verse 76:

The very keys of the treasures we had given to him were a burden to a group of strong men.

The scholars said about this verse that "the keys of his treasures were numerous; a group of seventy men (or forty mules) had difficulty carrying them." But Qaroon forgot Allah, who had blessed him with wealth, and said, according to verse 78 of the same Surah:

This wealth has been given to me only because of a certain knowledge I have.

He did not pay zakah (mandatory 2.5% of excess wealth given in charity) for his wealth. Rather, he boasted about his wealth in front of poor people, and assumed that happiness was in wealth, without faith in Allah. So what was the result? Allah says in verse 81:

So, then We made the earth to swallow him up and his house, and he had none to help him against Allah, and he could not protect himself.

So, dear brothers and sisters, true happiness is not in wealth when our hearts are missing the faith in Allah, to Whom all praise and glory is due.

Some other people assumed that happiness lies in children, without believe in Allah and in his messenger, Muhammad (pbuh). The example of that is Walid ibn Mughairah in Makkah, whom Allah had bestowed with ten sons. He was so proud of them that he would seat five of them on his right and five on his left. He refused to believe in Allah. He and his sons fought the Muslims, except two of them who later became Muslims: Khalid and Ammarah ibn Walid, may Allah be pleased with them. His remaining sons died as disbelievers. So Allah said about Walid ibn Mughairah in Surah al Muddathir, verses 26-30:

Soon will I throw him into the fire of hell. And what will explain to you what the fire of hell is? Neither will it be tolerable, nor would it leave alone, darkening and burning the man. Over it are nineteen angels.

So, true happiness is not in abundance of children, with no faith in Allah.

Some people consider happiness in music and dance. Allah has held back true happiness from them, according to Surah at Taha, verses 124-126:

But whoever turns away from my reminder, surely for him is a life constricted, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Judgment. He will say: "O my Lord! Why have you raised me up blind whereas I had sight before?' You acted like this when our signs came to you. You disregarded them, so will you, this day, be disregarded.

The second group of people sought true happiness, and found it in the right way. Among them is Jonas (pbuh), who sought happiness in righteous deeds, and called Allah from a great misery he was in, saying, according to Surah al Anbya, verse 87:

"There is no god except You, glory to You. Truly, I was one of the wrongdoers."

 So Allah answered him and delivered him from triple darkness: darkness of night, darkness of ocean, and darkness of the belly of the whale. Allah replied in the next verse:

So we listened to him, and delivered him from difficulty. And like this we rescue those who have faith.

So Jonas (pbuh) found happiness in the remembrance of Allah.

Similarly, Moses (pbuh) sought happiness, and found it as he was followed by Pharaoh's to the shore of the ocean. He said, according to Surah ash-Shu'ara, verse 62, "My Lord is with me. He will soon guide me." Allah confirms in verse 65:

We saved Moses and all who were with him.

And Muhammad (pbuh) sought happiness and found it in the cave of Thaur, when he was with Abu Bakr As Siddiq, and the disbelievers were surrounding the cave. Muhammad (pbuh) said to Abu Bakr, "Do not grieve, because Allah is with us." Allah answered him and said, in Surah at Tawbah, verse 40:

Then Allah sent down peace and calm upon him, and strengthened him with forces that you did not see, and made the word of the disbelievers (to take Muhammad's life) completely false. But Allah's word is glorified to the highest, and Allah is exalted in strength, all Wise.

And Joseph (pbuh) sought happiness, and found it in calling people to the path of Allah while in prison. Joseph (pbuh) was put in prison for seven years by no crime of his own, but still he kept calling people to the Oneness of Allah, saying:

O companions of the prison! Are multiple lords, who differ among themselves better, or is Allah, the one Supreme and Irresistible? (Surah Yusuf, verse 39)

So Joseph (pbuh) pronounced the Oneness of Allah to the people, and found happiness.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal also found true happiness in prison, where he was whipped so severely with a beating that, according to his torturers, would have killed a camel. He patiently adhered to the religion of Allah, and pronounced the Qur'an to be Allah's word, not his creation, and found true happiness in that.

Ibrahim ibn Adham found happiness as he slept in the streets of Baghdad. He could not find a single piece of bread to eat, but still he said, "By Allah, besides whom there is no partner, we are in true happiness. If the rulers would find out, they would fight with us over it with swords." He did not have any food to eat, but still possessed true happiness that is not accessible to kings in their palaces, surrounded by wealth, food, and drink. Why?

Because true happiness is in the company of Allah. It does not reach those who are away from Allah or shun Allah and His religion.

Dear brothers and sisters, this is the reality of true happiness, and this is the affair of those who attain it. It is not achieved, except with faith and pious deeds that Muhammad (pbuh) was sent with. Those who live in palaces, with no wealth of faith, Allah has written for them that "life will be constricted for them". So he who accumulates wealth without faith in Allah and without giving charity and paying zakah on it, Allah will seal his heart, so that his life is constricted. And the rulers of the world, and those who attain high positions, who lack faith in Allah, life will be constricted for them, and there are several examples of that in history.

To recap, let's look at the factors in life that do promote true happiness.

First is true belief in Allah. The one who is not a believer in Allah cannot attain true happiness, even though he may appear to be happy.

Next are virtuous deeds. Allah says, "Whoever works right, (be it) man or woman, and has faith, surely to him, We will give a good (and pure) life, and We will bless upon them their reward by the best of their deeds."

Another factor is keeping the five daily prayers and reading of the Qur'an, because Allah says, "Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find true satisfaction."

Another factor is obedience to Allah and abstaining from all that is forbidden. Ibn Abbas said, "Virtues produce a glow on the face, a light in the heart, expansion of provisions, love of the people, and light in the grave. And sins produce darkness in the face, darkness in the grave, constriction in sustenance, and hatred in the hearts of people.

Yet another factor is the fear of Allah, in open and secret.

All of the factors that prevent the attainment of happiness are the ones opposite of those described above, such as sins, and being far away from Allah.

He who desires true happiness should seek it in the mosque, and in the Qur'an, and in the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), and in reciting the Qur'an, and in prayer, and in standing firm in the religion, and following in the example of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

And Allah knows best.

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